Rules to Fly By

Posted by Jameson | Posted in Ideas | 10/11/2013


After approximately 220 flights in my life, I feel like I’ve earned the right to speak up. The right to talk to all the people who think the world revolves around them and their once-a-year-trip-to-the-company-business-convention which somehow makes them the most important person in the world.

I wrote out some rules to ‘that guy’ while traveling:

1. There are weight limits for bags, hello.

2. Take off your shoes before you hit the security line, society will progress faster.

3. 3 oz. liquids is the limit, the TSA are not generalists.

4. Metal sets off metal detectors… do the math.

5. If they tell you it won’t fit in the overhead bin, unless you know exactly which model plane you are on and you’ve fit it 12 times before – chances are they know more than you do.

6. To all the men talking loudly on their cell phones about ‘important business’ trying to impress everyone in their vicinity – nobody cares. Please shut up. I actually read a stat that said 50% of you are faking the call – which is even more pathetic.

7. Unless your goal in life is to be a 95th percentile jerk, NEVER lean back in your chair when someone is behind you. Never. Never. NEVER! It is one of the most inconsiderate things you can ever do. (sorry, I have long legs, so I’m extra sensitive)

8. That kid in the seat behind you is a kid, not an adult. You were a kid once too, if you recall. Just because this kid got to fly earlier than you in life gives you no right to yell at them for being, well, a kid. Do not destroy the experience of travel for a young person – one of the most valuable things they could ever experience.

9. Walk a little faster, maybe?

10. The conveyor belt with bags… it moves. That might mean that it would be good to strategically place yourself down the line so you can retrieve it. Just a thought.

11. No, your rental car upgrade is not that important. Drive the van.

In summary, you are not special – everyone is afforded the same treatment in airports, I could write an entire post about how airline travel is rather socialistic, but maybe some other time. In the meanwhile, let’s face it – if you were so important, you’d be on a private jet; but you aren’t – and neither am I, so come back down to earth and get your ego in check. </end rant>



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